It really is all Pants!



The famous front cover from the 1st flop. L to R: Ginger, Skid, (Front) Rock, (Back) Justin, (Back) Pete, (Front) Horse


Anyway, to the real business…


You could not make it up...


You had to be there, back in the balmy summer of swinging, hippy, ‘love-fest’ London of ’68.


The Pants were absolutely a true product of the times, picture it, a group of handsome, highly educated, fit and talented musicians lusting to share their unique polyrythms and uncanny musical originality with those less fortunate, especially with the more well-endowed and attractive members of the opposite sex.


Rock Carnaby, a brilliant songsmith who learned his craft on the Argyle Estate opposite the lush green acres of Wimbledon Common, aided and abetted by his lifelong buddies in the Pants, created an entirely new musical lexicon which the Pants affectionately labelled ‘The Browns’.


This music was based on an arcane and primitive rolling structure of 12 bars and seems very simple on the surface but actually it contains some devilishly clever sound-structures. At times, in the music, the Pants appear to be playing to a different tempo within the same beat, almost impossible to achieve by mere mortals, this became known as ‘Differential Mode-Shifting Time-Sequencing with Emotion’ (‘DMSTSwE’). Harmonica playing took on a completely new direction, just listen to the oh, so exquisite parody in ‘Les Bleus Français (a triple entendre of a title if ever there was, by the way).


Such was the impact of the ‘Browns’ that musicians living in the backwaters of  the southern parts of America picked up on many of The Pants’ wonderfully crafted, emotional songs from discarded demos and claimed them as their own. Hence the ‘Blues Explosion’ (they found that the copyright laws in force at the time meant that they had to change the description, being not terribly creative, they changed the colour, having heard the Pants’ rendition of Les Bleaus Français and not understanding the amphetamine connection, chose the colour Blue!) in the USA.


Unkowns such as Chuck Berry, BB King, Howling Wolf and many others, were able to coin success with thinly disguised copies of the Pants music. It is some what ironic that  one of these ex-Colonial Transatlantic plagarists had by the early part of the twentieth century, adopted a different colour-descriptive name for their watered down brand of this music, as today few have heard of ‘The Browns’ , everyone, though seems to suffer the Blues.


To those in the know, if you’ve ever had a touch of the Browns, no way does the Blues come close, unless one suffers the Browns and the Blues together… this leads to something altogether different!


The Pants technique of ‘DMSTSwE’ was picked up on much later and stolen by another American called Don Van Vliet, who shamelessly attempted to claim it as his own, and created the most unmusical interpretation of the genre in albums such as ‘Trout Mask Replica’ the lawsuit continues.


Best buddies growing up in the Capital of the ‘Swinging Sixties’, how could these maverick street-wise South Londoners not become world renowned superstars? All coming from staunchly working class backgrounds and having had the benefit of world-class eductions in the finest halls of academia known on the planet, nay, the solar system… wait… the universe etc., etc., etc.


Trailblazers from the beginning, the Pants were the first artistes to found a Record Label, Film Company, Music Publishing Company and Gusset Factory. Under the Trade Name Ignor®, this influenced many artists to beat this track and free themselves from the slavery of the Capitalistic Underlings of the No-musical Types (C-U-N-T-S) who dominated the recording industry and live performance venues at this time.


                                   
                                                 

                                   
                                                  


This site is but a tiny scrape of time from the sore under-belly of reality (sic, lyrics from the unreleased  epic, ‘Tripe, Life and Living, Caviar, Death and Dying’, a projected rock opera  by the Pants, which was never released, naturally, no tapes exist).


Many others contributed to the enlightening experiences the Pants showed the world, some are mentioned in the following pages, not all are remembered (age affects these things) fewer left pictorial reminiscences (photographs), if you, the reader can help please email bp@billplummer.net or press ‘Email Me’ below.





Shock, Horror!

Plagarists, imposters and Charlatans abound!


I just did a web search to see if the Pants site shows up when Googled. It does but so does this worryingly trivial fakery:




You can witness this atrocity at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6tzp2zSzC0.


Worse still, the site was displaying incorrectly in Exploreer on Windows 10 so I searched just dirtypants to see if it would link to the site correctly, these were some of the hits on the first page, be warned, DO NOT CLICK ON ANY OF THESE, THEY ARE NOT FROM THE DIRTYPANTBAND.COM SITE!




This was one of the more presentable sites!!!